just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i think my cat just said my name.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
