okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
