I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
