Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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