youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
