i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
