All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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