Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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