He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
