Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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