hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my poor anus
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
