i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
