Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
