i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
