Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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