hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
