Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
