WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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