chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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