Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
