She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
