I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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