I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
