Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
