im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
