Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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