Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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