The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
