Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
