Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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