Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
