Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
