I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
