wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
