His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
