He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
