i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
