high people should be assigned attendants
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
