There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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