Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
