it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
