did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
