dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You did what with his pubic hair?
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