my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the day after is always just damage control
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
