Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
