Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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