i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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