Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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