i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
