The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
