3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
