I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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