doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
