Small penises have feelings too.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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